Learning Elimination Communication (EC)
In the Modern World
Nature / Nurture
We often analyse child behaviour in terms of nature / nurture - which traits are genetic and which traits are learned? But it's easy to forget that these influences don't stop when childhood ends.
One prime example of this is parenting; sure, humans have been parenting for as long as humans have been humans, you could even say we were parents before we were humans! But that doesn't mean to say parenting comes naturally to us. It's that nature / nurture thing again. Before becoming parents ourselves how much real exposure and hands-on experience of looking after small babies do we actually get?
Social Change & Overwhelm
In most industrialised nations, incremental social changes have led to a reduction in individual household size and increasing distances between family members. The result is weakened support networks and a reduction in our exposure to parenting in action.
These are contributing factors to the current situation where parenting for many - particularly during the first weeks and months - is characterised by regular instances of low confidence, self-doubt and uncertainty. We simply haven't had the exposure and practice to feel confident in what we are doing. We may have crammed at the last minute as if studying for an important exam, but there are so many opinions, and so much conflicting advice. The overwhelm is real.
If this is you, you are not alone. The message here is 'go easy on yourself'. This is a societal issue, not a personal failing.
Tried and Tested - Not Instinctive
As an advocate for elimination communication (EC) I'm acutely aware of the unintended consequences of my work. For starters, presenting a parenting practice as 'timeless' has connotations that it's instinctive and should come naturally to all. What I mean to convey is that it is tried and tested - it's not something new.
An East African Story
When I was researching ec babies I came across a valuable resource first published in 1977 in the journal Pediatrics. It's called 'Cultural Relativity of Toilet Training Readiness: A Perspective From East Africa'. I'm going to use examples taken from this study to illustrate my point further.
The researchers Marten W deVries and M Rachel deVries spent time living in a Digo village close to Mombasa, Kenya. The Digo are a ethnic group from Southern Kenya and Northern Tanzania. As ethnographers the researchers took their time to gain trust within the community and integrate with daily life. They worked with a team to observe and record attitudes and practices relating to bowel and bladder training.
They found that 88% of Digo households with babies aged between 3 and 12 months had initiated bowel and bladder training in the first weeks of life, and expected or had accomplished a reasonable night and day dryness by 4 to 6 months.
So how do they achieve this?
Exposure to Child Care
For the Digo preparation for parenthood doesn't begin with a 40 minute sex ed class at high school. It goes way back, not as formal preparation but casual exposure. You see the Digo were (and quite possibly still are) living in homesteads housing six to ten adults plus children: a large house for shelter, and an enclosed courtyard for most domestic and social activities.
In these courtyards, children get to see every aspect of child care. Bowel and bladder training is not a distinct or separate part of this; it's as integral as ensuring a baby has sufficient milk to feed on and enough sleep to thrive.
Digo Infant Potty Training
To assist with peeing, a carer sitting on the ground would lay the child back on their outstretched legs so that pee is directed away from the body between the carer's feet. For poops, a sitting carer with legs bent placed the child on top of their ankles. This time the baby faced inwards. Mess was cleaned up quickly, but in a relaxed manner.
Girls between the ages of 5 and 12 are expected to take over from mothers or adult carers to assist small babies with bowel and bladder training.
Responsibility & Expectation
Once a baby is walking almost all of its time is spent in the care of older siblings. These siblings are responsible for helping babies learn to use the latrine away from social spaces. By 12 months babies are reprimanded for going in the wrong place.
It may sound strict, but the culture recognises infancy as an optimal time for learning and development. By paying close attention to innate responses, carers help babies become familiar with their own needs, which in turn gives them a head start when they are sufficiently developed to communicate through gestures and sounds.
The Climate helps
For bowel and bladder training, the warm climate and dry ground help. Before they can walk, babies are assisted with toileting wherever they happen to be.
This set up simplifies things for the child. As part of cognitive development we talk about object permanence - the awareness that objects still exist even if they can't be seen. So in a typical industrialised culture, before a baby reaches this stage of development even if they are familiar with potty use, there might not be one in the vicinity. So they have more mental and physical work to do than a baby that can simply climb onto a nearby carer.
In addition to this there's the matter of clothing, the researchers observed that there were never any buttons to undo or diapers to remove. Accidents were spotted easily and assistance provided without delay.
Adaption, not Replication
I'm not suggesting that we have to emulate the Digo practices as closely as possible. The point I want to make is that infant potty training is still being figured out in our industrialised culture. It isn't a new invention, but it may as well be.
Current environments and support systems aren't set up to make it easy.
How early we hear about it, and know enough to begin to apply the principles, are ultimately down to chance.
External commitments that prevent us from being as attentive as we would like to be are often out of our control.
It's pot luck regarding the extent to which the childcare services available to us will support our newborn pottying endeavours.
We are not closely connected to peers that can easily guide us.
Support without Expectation
EC certainly is possible, but it isn't always instinctive. It's something that needs to be practiced and figured out. The ec babies app is one tool that can help with this. However, if you missed the window or it really isn't going very well that's ok. There are other methods that can and will work for you.
Collectively, I believe the benefits of EC are clear and that social institutions should be paving the way for a greater take up of it.
But individually it should not in any way be used as a measure of anyone's ability to parent. The playing field is far too uneven for that.
Further Reading
Other Potty Training Options
If you heard about EC late or things haven't quite fallen into place, you might like to explore some of the other potty training methods available.
Montessori Potty Learning
Italian physician and educator Maria Montessori believed in 'sensitive periods' - ages at which babies are particularly receptive to learning specific skills. For potty training (or potty learning as it is referred to in a Montessori setting) the sensitive period is between 12 and 18 months. To find out more, this insightful article is a good starting point.
The Proactive Approach
From the late 1960's until quite recently a common piece of toddler potty training advice was 'wait until they're ready'. This is now widely regarded as outdated and inappropriate.
Rather than waiting, the evidence points towards proactively helping toddlers to get ready. One informed advocate for this approach is Rebacca Mottram, her new book Positively Potty can guide you through the process.